Mindfuck no jutsu
by TheLadyMuse
Summary: Part 1 of Librarium. Time travel fic where Sakura goes by Sakuya, there is no Sanbi, so no Kyuubi or Massacre. There is plenty of Chaos.
1. Chapter 1

AKA: Mindfuck no Jutsu

Uchiha Fugaku has regrets.

It may not seem like it- his sons still call him 'Tou-san' and Mikoto is smiling like she used to- but he does. He regrets that it took witnessing ROOT trying to kill Shisui to make him come to his senses about the Uchiha. He regrets ever making his wife feel like she would have to choose. He regrets hurting his sons.

But they've allowed him to make amends. It's a relief and a privilege he won't take for granted.

And then Naruto, Kushina and Minato's troublemaker, is assigned to a team with his son and his niece's lover is their sensei. Their kunoichi is a civilian smart ass, and Fugaku can _feel_ his forehead creasing.

Mikoto laughs at him, Itachi's smile is small but _there,_ and Shisui and Obito are chortling to each other that this will be a glorious disaster. Not even Nohara and the Hokage understand the dilemma that will be Team Seven. On the one hand, the Naruto has proclaimed that he and Kakashi are the future Hokages, Sasuke and Sakura will not only be the Anbu Captain and Head Medic-nin, but with Naruto, they will form the 'Next Three Way Dead Lock'.

On the other hand (the Uchiha cat summons would sniff 'On the other _paw'_ ) Hatake Kakashi has been closely associated with the Uchiha Clan since he and Obito had saved each other from Iwa nin years ago.

Nothing will save Konoha if they decide to do _anything._

Unlike Fugaku, Namikaze Naruto does not yet have regrets. Except for the time he peeked on Kakashi and saw him making out with his girlfriend. That he regrets, but only 'cause he got caught.

He doesn't regret that Kakashi shares his sensei duties with a handful of Uchiha. They've learned a lot from Amaya, Obito, Itachi and Hisana. Not to mention, whenever Hisana-san is working with them, Shiranui Genma, his Dad's guard and Hisana's boyfriend tags along, and works on their bukijutsu.

Anyway, he doesn't pull pranks on Konoha very often, since it's more fun to try and catch the Uchiha being pranked (living in a compound presents _lots_ of pranking opportunities). And he spends more time than his parents probably realize hanging out with his Genin squad and their yearmates.

That's because he and the others got flung back in time, the Konoha thirteen, Kakashi and Obito. Amaya's aged eyes are representative of the Uchiha clan, who had _remembered_ at various points in their lives. Hinata-chan had said that several Hyuuga had remembered too, but Naruto was kinda busy keeping the Uchiha entertained so they wouldn't do something ridiculous.

Which is probably why he agreed with Operation: Mindfuck no Jutsu. Kakashi had asked how to screw with everyone for a day and Obito had suggested acting out a prank like they were in a Genjutsu. Sasuke had suggested (since the Aho couldn't act) that they just tell the truth. Sakuya (Sakura had changed her name when she enrolled this time around) had giggled through suggesting how to make it funnier.

Which is why Konoha ended up witnessing the second coming of the Rokudaime. Naruto had nixed them using him as the central figure because Kakashi was still his sensei. So the Konoha twelve (Sai and Tenzou watched from the shadows) woke up one day and began speaking oddly.

It began with Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji requesting a joint practice day with Team Seven- as did Teams Gai and Kurenai. Practice duly arranged, the children began plotting. Mind, Kakashi knew that _Team Seven_ was back, but not the others.

So, as luck would have it, Minato and Hiruzen attempted to join the practice, only to see the sensei's regarding their students with confusion. Team Seven, minus any of their usual senseis', stood at the center of the formation, the other teams fanned around them for maximum efficiency.

Naruto furiously demanded

"What in the name of the Holy Log are you _doing?_ Kakashi-sama is too busy to train _you."_ Sasuke said solemnly

"Naruto-donou, this Sessha would _gladly_ address the problem." Sakuya scowled and Ino muttered

"That won't fix _anything,_ Sasuke-donou. Let Shikamaru-donou _plan."_ Hinata grumbled

"If they want to take our time with Kakashi-sama, they will have to die anyway." Tenten chuckled, but it was Lee who growled

"It is very not Youthful to take Kakashi-sama's time!"

Minato was Very Freaked Out ™.

It didn't get better when Kakashi and his usual Uchiha entourage- Amaya, Obito, Itachi and Shisui- landed in the clearing. In fact, it got worse. The Konoha Twelve (somehow including Shino, Neji and Shikamaru) began groveling.

"Forgive us Kakashi-sama! These Sessha could not make the heathens go away!"

"Obito-donou, how lovely of you to show up today, will you demonstrate Kamui again?"

"Amaya-donou, will you fan dance? Can these Sessha be of service?"

The worst, come to think of it, was Sasuke, who threw himself at Itachi's feet and wailed

"Onii-sama, I have failed you and our house! You must do away with me in the name of the Holy Log if you cannot forgive this Sessha his transgressions!" Itachi patted his brothers' head and soothed him with a few words

"Shhh, Otouto-donou, you can make amends when Kakashi-sama trains you." Sasuke's (apparently real) sobs set off the rest of the Twelve, Ino weeping into Shikamaru's chest that 'this Sessha is no good!', while Hinata hiccupped

"Neji-nii-sama, this Sessha is not good enough to guard Aburame-donou and Inuzuka-donou's backs, what shall I do?" Neji tried to soothe his cousin through his own tears.

Sakuya buried her face in her hands and mumbled about 'Stupid Hokages' 'Dumb senseis' ' _Why_ are they trying to steal Kakashi-sama? I won't permit it, Channaro!'

Naruto turned on his father and roared

"Look what you did! You made even _more_ work for Kakashi-sama! I _told_ you he's busy!"

"Reading porn." Asuma muttered with an eyeroll, nearly choking on a cigarette when even Shikamaru turned wounded eyes on him, three whimpers of 'Kakashi-sama' cowing him as it exasperated him.

Kakashi sighed, very exasperated himself, ending the ongoing groveling with a grumbled

"Maa, it's too fucking early for this." Eying the patiently waiting Genin, he flapped a hand and said

"Sasuke-chan, get your relatives some water. Sakuya-tan, Hina-chan, Ten-chan and Ino-tan, you're learning fans today. Shika-chi, Chou-kun, Naru-kun, Shi-chan, Kiba-chin, Neji-kun, Lee-kun, you're doing Genjutsu with Itachi-kun and Obito-chan. Sasuke, you're doing kenjutsu with me."

Ignoring the jealous mutters of 'No fair.' And 'Why does Sasuke-baka get Kakashi-sama?' Kakashi surveyed Minato, Hiruzen, Gai, Asuma and Kurenai.

"The Genin will be fine, Sensei." He dismissed, clicking his tongue when said Genin squealed about him calling Minato sensei.

Minato and the others left.

They were convinced it was a collective bad dream when everything went back to normal the next day.

(They were wrong. Kakashi submitted to the Genins' pleas of 'Be Hokage' after Sasuke threatened to go missing nin if someone didn't replace Minato and the biddies. Naruto sighed but supported it so his Dad would be home with his Mom more. The Godaime Hokage had a twenty man honour guard to escort him to the Tower the day he took the hat, and a four man one every minute after. Naruto decided to take the hat only when Kakashi was ready for permanent retirement.)

 **A/N: Please email me with prompts! The address is on my profile if you'd rather not pm. All fandoms I write for (or, challenge me to enter a new one). Also, check out the fan blog on my profile, if you please.**


	2. The Other Side

**Guest: Why is this also listed as another chapter when it's posted separately? (paraphrased)**

Because I was aware there were people who had subscribed to this rather than me as an author and didn't want them to miss out on the new content.


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